Just the other morning I had to sit my two teen daughters down to explain a word they seldom hear around our home. In fact, they so rarely hear it that when my wife or I dare utter it, they think the world has come to an end.
During my 22 minute, uh, lecture, I couldn’t help thinking that I was really the one to blame for our family having having to pause to revisit this very important word. In fact, when I was growing up, my mother repeated this word so often that when she answered otherwise, I would immediately ask again, just to make sure she had heard what she said!
Additionally, I also surmised that I do the same thing in my businesses, church and other organizations with which I am affiliated. As a chronic ‘people pleaser,’ not wanting to disappoint or make people feel rejected or hurt or any other misapplied descriptions, I’ve often sacrificed what was best for my family, project or myself in order to engage in the less important whims of making someone else feel a little better.
Often, in my reasoning to never miss a ‘great opportunity’ I’ve ruined what would’ve been best for everyone involved…my not participating at all! Equally important, lacking the ability to pronounce this simple word when I clearly knew I should’ve, is the very reason why certain musical projects remain incomplete.
It’s such a simple word. When I have mustered the courage to whisper it, my fears of rejection or the complete breakdown of relationships proved mostly unfounded and I was able to concentrate on what actually mattered to accomplish the best results personally and professionally.
So there needs to be extreme reevaluation of a tiny word so neglected, which when appropriately implemented can bring peace to a home and heart and cause your teen daughters (or business or church) to understand that your final decision is not because you’re angry or mean, but that you’re committed to living the best life you can even when it means you’ll be unable to accommodate their requests. More often than not, it’s best for all concerned, especially your children.
I was listening to Bobby McFerren’s “Spirityouall” while composing this post.